i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
is wine microwaveable?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
