dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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