Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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