Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
