Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
