I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Less talking, more tequila
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
