Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
