Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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