Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
