Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
