im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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