i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
