How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
