Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
