That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
