On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
