Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
