Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
