You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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