Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
