My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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