first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
