I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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