yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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