Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
