How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
