But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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