My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
