i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
