No stitches, just platelets and will power
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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