Yo dont text me then not text me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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