And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
