And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
