Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
