therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
