My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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