is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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