absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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