im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
