I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
