just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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