Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
