Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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