I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Barsexuality is the new black.
and she was petting her beer can
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
