ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
