Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
