Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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