Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
