I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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