its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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