We won't sleep together?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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