I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
