I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
