Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
